I completely disagree on the album's quality, but that's the BEST REVIEW OF THE YEAR!

I never said it wasn't a quality album. Shit, some of those hand-painted porcelain cats that people collect require plenty of effort and skill. Doesn't make them not fucking retarded. And that's how I feel about this new coaster in my apartment.

That's a well-written review. BTW, NPR has an archived Sigur Ros concert on their web site, and let me tell you, it's like an NPR broadcast, but without the talking.

Best first line ever. Actually, best rest of the review ever, too... but that first line KILLS.

i think i might like the last line the best. so succint, so wrathful, so probably true.

Great review! Especially great because someone finally spoke the truth: Sigur Ros sucks. It's a joke seeing those starstruck masturbators at Rolling Stone magazine wank off about groups like this.

Classic, totally classic review. I'd rather listen to Carl on Aquateen Hunger Force play "I Wanna Rock Your Body (Til the Brink of Dawn)" on his air guitar than Sigur Ros. Widdly Wah Widdly Wah!

Boy, I haven't gotten fellatio like this since college...

okay so I haven't heard this album yet but I liked Ágætis Byrjun but can only listen to it when I'm in the kind of mood you describe above. I think this review is freaking hysterical and apt Sigur feel wise, truly a great piece of writing! The weirdest thing is...several people have said my band Makar reminds them of Sigur Ros. I don't see it at all...! They also said Portishead, so if you don't have anything else to do, let me know if you also think they're imagining things (aka smoking opium).

makar - as in "MA, you got the CAR? Of course that really isn't how you're supposed to pronounce it (see answers.com). How is Sigur Ros pronounced? Is is Sig-gore Ross? I realize I read more about bands today than actually hear their names on radio and I'm so phonetically challenged.

I think its like, "Hey! Hey yo, Sig! You're gross!" But you fuck up and say Ros instead of Gross. And the "you're" part has more U than most people would say it. But, as South Park so eloquently put it:

Teacher: Spell 'forensics'.
Student: Oh, fuck that. Why should I fucking have to spell 'forensics'. Here you go. S-U-C-K-M-Y-A-S-S. Forensics.

I love South Park. Just rereading this review cracks me up. I think this should be South Park's interpretation of Sigur Ros. Totally visual, totally rib cracking.

Yes! Finally! God, I was starting to think that not one pompous Sigur Ros fan would get upset about this review, and that would really disappoint me....

Tom, I'm a pompous Sigur Ros fan. But I guess I'm also a pompous fan of absurdist humor.

yeah I like Sigur too but I'm also a fan of great, concise writing. all tastes are subjective though

Sounds like you listened to the album once. I also totally disagree with your review.

Try 5 excruciating times. In my car, with no one distracting me. Just me and the retarded sea nymphs, floating down the highway...

so Tom d., what did you think of Ágætis Byrjun? i'm listening to it now and quite like it but the humpback whale is definately apt

It was better than Takk..., but I... this is the part I don't get. You Sigur Ros fans can explain it to me, hopefully. OK, so, you like Sigur Ros, and then you get their albums. Do you seriously ever put them on? Like, more than twice? You sit around your house and think, "Man, I really really REALLY need to hear some Sigur Ros right now." Does that EVER happen? I just figured that you all had their CDs lying around so if someone comes over and is rifling through your music, and says, "Oh, Sigur Ros, I've heard of them I think...", then you have the opportunity to put the CD on and watch the confused look on their face and feel a little better about your own refined tastes in music. But you don't actually get cravings to listen to whales fucking in pseudo-Icelandic space language, do you? Do you?

I do. Especially the "( )" album that no one seems to like as much as any of their other ones. I get real, honest to god cravings to hear that record if I haven't heard it in a long time. Sort of like an opiate (not that I know opiates from a hole in the ground).

aw that made my day paul! my guilty pleasure recently - The Monkees! I used to hate them when I was a kid because this Who fanatic said "aren't The Beatles and The Monkees the same?" to piss my yellow-submarine addicted self off and he'd sing the TV theme everytime I got into an argument who was better The Who or The Beatles? But then I picked up the Monkees' greatest hits and got ADDICTED.

I love this album, and their other albums. I listen to the new one a lot, I think it is great for when you are happy or when you are sad. You may not like it, but I do, as do others. I don't invite people over who I have not known for a long time, so I dont like them to "impress" people. I just love their music, it is moving, but you have to be open to it.

The same people who were saying how great Sigur Ros were five years ago are now the ones saying how boring and lame they are. Funny how a band's popularity can change people's opinions of them.

Jason, that logic works on teenagers maybe, but not the rest of us. Anyone over the age of 18 who says "I hate [x_band] because they totally sold out" deserves a slap on the head.

i have not heard this album. but the imagery you have provided is priceless. i need to hear it. so for the fans, this review at least turned me on to the idea of listening to sigur ros. for tom, i secretly can't wait to laugh my ass off.

I almost forgot one of my favorite Sigur-Ros-fan-isms; thank you for reminding me, Tyson! Has anyone else ever noticed that every explanation of their music soudns like either a) a cult invitation, or b) a way to trick teenagers into trying drugs? "God, it feels so good, its like a blowjob for your emotions, as long as you can be open and brave enough to let it work its wondrous magic..."

And Jason, you're right. Fuck Coheed and Cambria. They have left me behind.

Fucking brilliant review. Had me holding my gut while I laughed. Anyways, I loved Ágætis Byrjun, and still do, I think it's a masterpiece. The "()" album, well, I liked it, I didn't think it was nearly as good as the aforementioned record, but then once my asshole roommate pointed out that there's only like 10 fucking words for the whole record... I just can't really listen to it anymore. I downloaded Takk (thank god) listened to it once and thought to myself "Did I accidentally download one of those relaxation CD's they sell at Hallmark?" Maybe these guys should just become yoga instructors and get it over with. BORING. They've pulled a Mercury Rev and just gone mediocre.

Allow me to add my own "thumbs up" for the review, also. Brilliant!

Tom, been to a live performance? Maybe then it will make more sense to you. Sigur Ros create something of their own which is certainly not for everybody. I believe it takes a certain understanding to truely appreciate them...you must be a patient while listening to their music and/or be completely intact with your emotions and yourself...otherwise, yeah its probably boring. Personally, I think their music is brilliant...from Ágætis Byrjun to Takk, no complaints here.

Actually, yes, I am listening to Sigur Rós alone in my apartment right now. I do all the time.

Your review is absolutely hilarious, and I guess I see where you are coming from, but it doesn't change the fact that I think they're the greatest band on earth.

This band is just plain awful.

I love this review!

Why, I thought it was more like Alien singing in duet with Predator.

This is the best review ever! Awful "band".

every song sounds the same... it's like the guy has three notes in his range and he uses all three on every song. this band's music makes me feel actual... rage. like... hate. i HATE them.

and it's comments like this "I believe it takes a certain understanding to truely appreciate them" that really exacerbates the feeling. screw you, doooood... i have like 40,000 mp3s in my collection and i love ALLL types of music. but this band is just BAD. THEY ARE BAD, as in NOT GOOD